Be an Anarchist Today and Roast a Chicken

Comedy Central ROAST of chickens. And it would have all “why did the chicken cross the road?” jokes. Heh.

“Roasting” a whole chicken is not hard. You put it in the oven; you wait.

Buying a whole chicken is usually the best bang for your buck. If you and your loved ones can tolerate all the chix parts, then go for it. I usually make it at a random time, tear off all the meat, put it in a container, then use it for 12 million things in the next few days – week because who says food gets old?

Entire chicken shoved into a plastic bag because we were too lazy to cut it right now. I think gross food pictures should have a place on the internet too becaues it's a natural part of life.

I teach a very informal cooking class to African kids (who are now in the US), and I once pulled out a bag of raw, boneless, skinless chicken breasts. They did not seem to recognize this entity. Although I certainly buy them, I just feel like boneless, skinless chicken breasts are SO American: only the slimmest finest slice of the darn chicken already chopped off and packaged because we don’t have tiiiiiime or tolerance for ANYTHING but the best, and all that other chicken going who knows where but there is probably some food wasting going on.

Don’t waste money and food. Be an anarchist today and roast a chicken.

Step one: Take out the bag of goop that comes on the inside. They put it in a bag for you, so it’s not as gross as individually removing different “pieces.” Step two: Rinse and dry the chicken. Step three: Pick your favorite seasoning, rub it UNDER the skin and also on the inside, yes, on its rib cage, a little gross to rub all up on with your hands, it’s true. And ya gotta figure out how to lift up the skin without tearing it to shreds. Carefully. Kind of like opening a sealed envelope. Tough job but somebody’s gotta do it.

You can also stuff and surround “the bird” with onions, apples, carrots, celery, lemons and fresh herbs. These are called “aromatics,” which means “the bird” will absorb these delicious flavors and aromas, as you may have guessed!

As far as cooking times, there are a MANY strategies out there. The only ones that calculated the time based on the weight were British, but here’s the best one I found that also includes pounds. The best tasting roast chicken I have ever made in my life was using my girrrl Gina Neely’s recipe. Gina Neely’s Roast Chicken.

I usually cook mine at 450F for about an hour and a half and put foil over it so the skin doesn’t burn. If you have a meat thermometer, the internal temperature of the chicken should be 165F. If not, well, many chickens have those little pop up timers and if you poke the chicken, the juices coming out should be clear, not cloudy. Honestly, knowing when chicken is done is kind of an acquired skill. I sometimes just cut into it to see if the breast is cooked through all the way.

Nice golden chicken. Prettiest picture in this post but maybe the 124289th prettiest picture on a google image search of roast chicken. Did it taste GREAT? Yes.

DEFINITELYYYY let the chicken or any meat sit for about 10 minutes before you cut it (except for the small cut to see if it’s done, which you really should just buy a meat thermometer, but I did not). If you don’t all the juicyness will leak out and be disappointing. If you do let it “rest,” as is the technical term, you will NOT be disappointed so congratulations to you, my friend, for roasting a chicken!


About Jen Cantin

Follow Jen Cantin on Twitter if you have nothing better to do! Wouldn’t want to impose… Two cats and three times more ‘tude than the leading car insurance provider.
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